Added Junk Food for Thought…By Jim Carlton

  • Our dog saw Tricia and me dancing the other night and wanted to join in. Of course he’s not very good. He has two left feet

 

  • I just read where July is Sinus Pain Awareness month. If you have sinus pain, how can you not be aware of it?

 

  • I see the Lakeside Inn is running a special: drinks are only two dollars. But that’s with a mail-in rebate.

 

  • What’s the worst thing a woman can get for her 25th anniversary? Morning sickness.

 

  • When will all the rhetorical questions end?

 

  • I bought some sheet music that had a misprint. The first line read: “Frankie and Johnny were movers.”

 

  • A car will travel at a rate of speed that’s the inverse proportion to its number of bumper stickers. The more stickers, the slower the speed. And the less distance a driver has to go before he turns, the more likely he is to pull out in front of you.

 

Jim Carlton spent his career in show business. He’s written for and traveled with the Smothers Brothers, Joan Rivers, Jim Stafford, Roger Miller, Mason Williams, Gallagher, the Kingston Trio and many others. He’s also written special material for the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, Thicke of the Night, the Arsenio Hall Show and Late Night with David Letterman. He presently lives in Mount Dora and has been a city commissioner for a dozen years or more.