Salty Junk Food for Thought…by Jim Carlton

  • Certainly the Internet has disproved the theory about giving enough monkeys typewriters and they’ll eventually produce the works of Shakespeare.

 

  • There’s a new cologne out for dogs. It’s called Gee, Your Butt Smells Terrific!

 

  • Canadians are just unarmed Americans with health insurance.

 

  • A friend of mine took a survey at the Villages. Seven out of ten people he stopped – never got started again.

 

  • I put a barcode on the side of my car. Now when a radar gun hits it, the cop sees, “creamed corn – 79 cents.”

 

  • Mount Dora is making progress but we’re still not as sophisticated as we’d like to be. For instance, our town rabbi is named Bubba.

 

  • Just last month we got cable; and it’s a discount service. It’s called the Jumper Cable Network.

 

  • Did you know when you go to a McDonalds in Umatilla you have to order a Big Mac through a catalog?

Jim Carlton spent his career in show business. He’s written for and traveled with the Smothers Brothers, Joan Rivers, Jim Stafford, Roger Miller, Mason Williams, Gallagher, the Kingston Trio and many others. He’s also written special material for the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, Thicke of the Night, the Arsenio Hall Show and Late Night with David Letterman. He presently lives in Mount Dora and has been a city commissioner for a dozen years or more.