Satisfying Junk Food for Thought…by Jim Carlton

  • We have a new business in Mount Dora, Hair World. I sure hope it’s not a restaurant.

 

  • If you think old soldiers just fade away try getting into your old uniform.

 

  • I met an advocate for carpal tunnel syndrome. She was wearing a typewriter ribbon on her shirt.

 

  • Being obscure is my claim to fame.

 

  • I’d like to see a pacemaker developed by the company that manufactures the Clapper.

 

  • I don’t like people who take drugs. TSA workers, for instance.

 

  • My new guitar amplifier weighs at least three Limbaughs.

 

  • I had to get a new computer a few months ago because mine crashed…after I kicked it. And the insurance company wouldn’t cover my broken toe. They said stupidity is a pre-existing condition.

 

  • I like my wife’s in-laws much better than my own.

 

  • I’ve found that sometimes you have unsay it with flowers.

 

  • If you blow out the candles on your birthday cake and wish for one candle to stay lit, can your wish still come true?

 

  • Dogs don’t care. If a dog can do it, you can watch.

Jim Carlton spent his career in show business. He’s written for and traveled with the Smothers Brothers, Joan Rivers, Jim Stafford, Roger Miller, Mason Williams, Gallagher, the Kingston Trio and many others. He’s also written special material for the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, Thicke of the Night, the Arsenio Hall Show and Late Night with David Letterman. He presently lives in Mount Dora and has been a city commissioner for a dozen years or more.