Springy Junk Food for Thought…by Jim Carlton

The U.S. Postal Service is issuing commemorative stamps for the Wolfman, Dracula, Frankenstein and other movie monsters. They’re calling it, “People Whom Abbott and Costello Have Met.”

I saw an ad that read: “Earn Extra Money In Your Spare Time.” Occurred to me there’s no such thing as extra money or spare time.

Do you realize that somewhere, at this very moment, a future Mrs. Rod Stewart is being born?
I was reading about the pope and noticed he’s against the use of surrogate mothers. How does he justify his belief in the birth of Jesus and Mary’s role in it?
I got some sheet music that had a misprint. The first line was, “Frankie and Johnny were movers.”
I suppose if you made a deposit at a sperm bank you would lose interest. And there’s probably a significant penalty for early withdrawal.
I was born via Cesarean section. Every time I leave a room I have an urge to go out through a window.
I often find the right pitch to tune my guitar by using a tuning fork. Should be called a pitch fork.
Jim Carlton spent his career in show business. He’s written for and traveled with the Smothers Brothers, Joan Rivers, Jim Stafford, Roger Miller, Mason Williams, Gallagher, the Kingston Trio and many others. He’s also written special material for the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, Thicke of the Night, the Arsenio Hall Show and Late Night with David Letterman. He presently lives in Mount Dora and has been a city commissioner for a dozen years or more.